My sister and I reached home by 2200hrs on the 7th of May 2011. All along we were silent because we were being dropped by my colleague; we did not want to discuss the god man in their presence. Nor did I want to broach the subject of what transpired between them and the god man. First, neither I nor my sis was nosy. Secondly, we were too weighed down by the atmosphere at home. We just politely enquired if the visit was worth all the effort, to which they informed in the affirmative. By the time we spoke a few words, we were near home.
We entered home and moved into our rooms. I met mom talked to her for a few minutes and went off to bed, upstairs. I did so because Gita was there of take care of mom. My wife was all along cursing my having chosen to meet the god man, more so when I shared with her, some of this god man’s observations and comments. I pacified her not to bother and tried to steal some sleep.
I heard a knock on our room door urgently and my niece calling out desperately, around 0315hrs. I ran downstairs. My niece Shalini told me that my mom had asked for me to be called to her bed. I found my mother sitting wide eyed. My sis told me quickly that my mom hadn’t slept after 0000hrs. But she was speaking and requesting for her leg to be massaged.
My mom told me to call the doctor as she was feeling very uneasy. As she insisted on calling the doctor, though I wasn’t sure if the doctor would make it to our house in the dead of night, I did call him. There was an urgency to and importunate sense to her demand. I found that her breath was labored, so I felt may be she is low on glucose; she had not eaten anything that night; I quickly mixed some glucose in water and was trying to feed her a spoon or two, when I found that the water trickled down from her mouth, her gaze became fixed, and light had gone out of her eyes!
I exclaimed,[B] “Gita Amma is no more!”[/B]. My mother was leaning on my sis and facing me when all this happened. My sis immediately tried cardiac resuscitation by mouth-to-mouth, then pounding the chest etc., but to no avail. My mom had left her mortal coil. I checked the pulse. It had flattened. Mind blanked out, my sis Gita held mom cradled in her hands and was desperately calling her out. She felt mom responded. All of us were struck dumb. I looked at my watch it was 0345 hrs. The date was 8th May 2011!
By the time we picked up our senses, we heard the doctor’s knock on our front gate. I opened the gate. Dr.Chandrasekhar Adiga walked into the room where my mom was laid, and declared my mother dead for about 10 minutes, after he had finished applying medically certified checks. He said we had done what would have been done, by a trained medic - he was referring to the resuscitation efforts that we had done. The silent stalker had come in stealthily with hardly an indication – my mom was a diabetic, for whom the coming of a myocardial infarction would be undetectable. Her nervous system played truant. Well, that was the medical cause of death.
My mother had passed away in wee hours of the 8th of May 2011. It was, as per International convention, the Mother’s Day! So, memorably we had lost our mother on the Mother’s day. It was Mesha-Shukla-Panchami, the day Shankara Jayanti is celebrated in Shankar Mutts all over India.
Now is the time for me to once again indulge my passion – to delve into the manner of passing over to the other side of an individual evaluated against the Bhagavad- Gita Vakya. The time of My mother’s passing away was Uttarayana-Shukla Paksha-Panchami- brAhma-muhurta all pointing to an upward movement for the Atman_karmasharIra combine.
I checked up with my sis if my mom was remembering God’s name during the lucid interval. My sis said the previous few hours she was repeating the Lord’s name all through her laboring through the heart attack and the uneasy period before the coming of the actual attack. It gave me some satisfaction. But the last words on her lips were my name – the nickname [Raja] which could be considered- going by Vedic standards- very remotely as connected to Chandra. But then what was the image in her mind? That is a mystery. The day of passing was auspicious by all means. But was my Mother a mokshagAmI Atman? That is a mystery again. What were the last thoughts on her mind? Was she fixated on me or The Lord?
Taking into account the circumstances of her passing away -the timing- the day, the time of day, and the time of the year are all very excellent, and my mom’s moving into a higher yoni [B]is certain.[/B] But The Gita says, to be part of The Lord the exit must be as follows:
ओमित्येकाक्षरं ब्रह्म व्याहरन्मामनुस्मरन् ।
यःप्रयाति त्यजन्देहं स याति परमां गतिम् ॥8|13॥
This couplet gives what a person must do to make his exit from the mortal coil to result in a flight to the feet of the Lord. Lord Krishna says, “He who shall depart from this world repeating the single syllabic OM which is synonymous with God [Brahman], and remembering Me-Lord Krishna- the manifest Godhood, shall reach the Final Abode-that of Liberation and freedom from the shackles of births and deaths. This is the idea fundamental to Sanatana Dharma. This couplet makes it look very simple.
However for this to happen, the person must be conscious till the moment of the Grand Exit. If one is blessed to be so, then that is the first best thing. My mother was conscious till the last moment.
अग्निर्ज्योतिरहः शुक्लः षण्मासा उत्तरायणम् ।
तत्र प्रयाता गच्छन्ति ब्रह्म ब्रह्मविदो जना: ॥ 8|24॥
The couplet above details the time of passing. The first four wordsand the fifth a phrase: <1> agniH (fire), <2> jyotiH (Light),<3> ahaH (day time) <4> shuklaH(White-Fortnight), and <5>ShaNmAsA-uttarAyaNam (the six months of the Northward movement of the Sun (beginning Jan 15th to July 16th approximately of every year) indicate the brighter side of the time of departure.
The death must occur in the presence of the Sacred Fire <1>—in here, is the reference to the [I]tretagni[/I] – the three-fold fires of the householder; at a place that is well lit<2> in the daytime<3>; in fortnight of the waxing Moon<4> and in that part of the year when the Sun is on his Northward transit<5>. Those who leave their bodies [this is the standard idiom of Sanatana Dharma] they reach Brahman—provided, they have “known” Brahman, before the exit time.
Now, in this 24th couplet The Lord qualifies- the possible “entrants” to the State of Liberation! After stating the time of the day, period of the year, and the part of the month, the qualifying line calls for[B] knowledge of Brahman[/B] to be a pre-requisite. There are three preceding couplets to the 8-13. These describe the preparatory “work” needed to make the exit final. They are as follows:
प्रयाणकाले मनसाचलेन भक्त्या युक्तो योगबलेन चैव ।
भ्रुवोर्मध्ये प्राणमावेश्य सम्यक् स तं परं पुरुषमुपैति दिव्यम् ॥8|10॥
At the time departing from the body he who holds his pranic energy between his brows (concentrated at the Aj~nA chakra) with an unwavering mind, and connects to God either in devotion or with the power of yoga, and holds well, he attains the Great Lord!
सर्वद्वाराणि संयम्य मनो हृदि निरुध्य च ।
मूर्ध्न्याधायात्मनः प्राणमास्थितो योगधारणाम् ॥ 8|11॥
Holding all his exit points-these are supposed to be nine in the human body- called metaphorically the City of Nine Gates-in attention, holding his mind in the heart directing his life force towards the crown of the head if stays focussed at the contemplative stage of the eightfold yoga:Such a yogi who attains Liberation. It looks like a householder could qualify to be such a person.
These then, are the preconditions for a liberation-oriented “exit”. Taken together these steps i.e. 10, 11, and 13 are a tall order. It almost looks like it is all designed for a sanyasi – a renunciate. What would be the fate of the householders then?
This shall be delved into in detail in the subsequent blogs.
Showing posts with label Liberation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Liberation. Show all posts
Friday, February 17, 2012
Saturday, November 13, 2010
IN MEMORIAM: SHRIMATI GOMATI AMMAL- OUR BELOVED-“PERIAMMA”
Lord Krishna said in the BG: “For one born death is certain, so is one to be reborn once dead”. While the second part of the sentence of this excerpt from BG is a matter of belief or faith, the first part cannot be denied as on date- even with the march of Science and Technology. Our beloved Periamma- my mother’s eldest sister passed away in the wee hours of November 1st, 2010. She had lived a long life of about 90 years. She was, we learn from her caretakers, bed-ridden needing help from others in the process of waiting for Death.
What makes me want to write an obituary to this very ordinary lady is—I have not come across as far my memory goes, anyone who had had a load of misfortune, or say, a profusion of ill-arranged circumstances in her life. In any one’s life there will be a mix of good and bad so that most can withstand the pulling-down effects of the bad patches in life on the strength of the good times there had been!
Here is a woman in whose life good was as sparse as sugar in a conscientious diabetic’s drink. Married early, when she must have been about 9, she had spent the 81 years of her life battling one or the other disappointment. But the classical training of those years wherein, no formal education was given to the female child might only have stood in good or bad stead for her not wanting to have given up fighting the pathos. Her husband - my Periappa- would never spend time at home, a very expert astrologer that he was, he was the cynosure of his officers. He was more outside home either on the plea of duty or to attend to the prognostication requests of his clientele, done chiefly at their place, perhaps to let the anonymity be. As a reason her five children had to be disciplined by her- a very lenient and voiceless person. If there must have been one who never ever uttered one harsh word to anyone or even expressed anger or frustration, all through her life, it was this person. In short, one must confess everyone took advantage of her goodness, benefitted a lot by her unflinching efforts at serving all at home with their needs and necessities, without even as uttering one word of displeasure, tiredness or what not. Yet the most shocking thing is that neither of her sons has ever felt like sympathizing with her plight- her helpless situation of having to be the man and the wife in the house. When young and dependent they (her sons) perhaps did help her running errands, but nothing more than that. Her husband, my Periappa, did not have any bad habits like gambling or boozing so as to lay a waste of money earned; he used to give his salary at home at least in good part. But she never spent it on her. She was content with whatever was needed for minimal existence.
Our Periappa passed away when his sons were still in school. The responsibility of managing the family finances also came upon her, though her eldest son-in-law helped her with investing the moneys received in the form of terminal benefits of our periappa wisely. The authoritarian presence of the son-in-law as a guardian only served to alienate her sons from her further for they were both so terrorized as to form warped personalities- one son taking to frugality to the extent of being miserly and the elder one incapable of independent decision, so much so as to lean too much on a manipulative wife, after having mortgaged his mind to an authoritarian BIL.
Even as the tides were turning against her in her old age her real supports were her second daughter, granddaughter and grand son-in-law, she would not permit them to pick a quarrel with her errant sons. She used to say,”Leave them. They know only that much”
Now, I would love to indulge in my curiosity born of my own religious convictions. What would be her after life? Will she be having a rebirth? If so, how will that be? She has died during the Southward transit of the Sun or what is called as DakShinAyana, on the tenth day of the dark fortnight- all of which point to another sojourn in this world at a future time and that in a disadvantageous yoni! Even human kindness of not so great a description would pray for a better future lifetimes for her. Greater luck and advantageous yoni placement is what I would pray for her fervently, in the least. That, if only Nirvana were possible for an ahimsa-driven life, as in the case of a Buddhist, she would be fully eligible for Nirvana, is my assessment. But I/We are in dark as to her level of spiritual evolvement – vis a vis the state of her desires. One could say that there was very little or no ego in her, but what about her desires in the last moments of her death? She was not very erudite in the Shastras to take a Knowledge-based approach, nor the kind of being steeped in devotion as seen by any random observer. So, one is not very sure if she would be granted mokSha!
If I were asked what should be her desserts, I would say she is a right candidate for mokSha, and to this end any small failings should be overlooked. Even in mean human minds, there is the magnanimity of not granting a death sentence to the worst criminals. Going by these standards, grant of mokSha – the libration from the cycle of births and deaths- should be the only fitting gift to her life torn of cares, concerns, disappointments and ill-luck all through.
That alone would be my constant prayer! Another lifetime, unless that is one of great means and advantageous placements, will be too hard a burden to bear. It might break her faith in the ONE, even if, in the next life she were to go through this kind of life, and that would be the saddest thing! One might say, she might not be able to remember anything of this life. But the Atman remembers!
What makes me want to write an obituary to this very ordinary lady is—I have not come across as far my memory goes, anyone who had had a load of misfortune, or say, a profusion of ill-arranged circumstances in her life. In any one’s life there will be a mix of good and bad so that most can withstand the pulling-down effects of the bad patches in life on the strength of the good times there had been!
Here is a woman in whose life good was as sparse as sugar in a conscientious diabetic’s drink. Married early, when she must have been about 9, she had spent the 81 years of her life battling one or the other disappointment. But the classical training of those years wherein, no formal education was given to the female child might only have stood in good or bad stead for her not wanting to have given up fighting the pathos. Her husband - my Periappa- would never spend time at home, a very expert astrologer that he was, he was the cynosure of his officers. He was more outside home either on the plea of duty or to attend to the prognostication requests of his clientele, done chiefly at their place, perhaps to let the anonymity be. As a reason her five children had to be disciplined by her- a very lenient and voiceless person. If there must have been one who never ever uttered one harsh word to anyone or even expressed anger or frustration, all through her life, it was this person. In short, one must confess everyone took advantage of her goodness, benefitted a lot by her unflinching efforts at serving all at home with their needs and necessities, without even as uttering one word of displeasure, tiredness or what not. Yet the most shocking thing is that neither of her sons has ever felt like sympathizing with her plight- her helpless situation of having to be the man and the wife in the house. When young and dependent they (her sons) perhaps did help her running errands, but nothing more than that. Her husband, my Periappa, did not have any bad habits like gambling or boozing so as to lay a waste of money earned; he used to give his salary at home at least in good part. But she never spent it on her. She was content with whatever was needed for minimal existence.
Our Periappa passed away when his sons were still in school. The responsibility of managing the family finances also came upon her, though her eldest son-in-law helped her with investing the moneys received in the form of terminal benefits of our periappa wisely. The authoritarian presence of the son-in-law as a guardian only served to alienate her sons from her further for they were both so terrorized as to form warped personalities- one son taking to frugality to the extent of being miserly and the elder one incapable of independent decision, so much so as to lean too much on a manipulative wife, after having mortgaged his mind to an authoritarian BIL.
Even as the tides were turning against her in her old age her real supports were her second daughter, granddaughter and grand son-in-law, she would not permit them to pick a quarrel with her errant sons. She used to say,”Leave them. They know only that much”
Now, I would love to indulge in my curiosity born of my own religious convictions. What would be her after life? Will she be having a rebirth? If so, how will that be? She has died during the Southward transit of the Sun or what is called as DakShinAyana, on the tenth day of the dark fortnight- all of which point to another sojourn in this world at a future time and that in a disadvantageous yoni! Even human kindness of not so great a description would pray for a better future lifetimes for her. Greater luck and advantageous yoni placement is what I would pray for her fervently, in the least. That, if only Nirvana were possible for an ahimsa-driven life, as in the case of a Buddhist, she would be fully eligible for Nirvana, is my assessment. But I/We are in dark as to her level of spiritual evolvement – vis a vis the state of her desires. One could say that there was very little or no ego in her, but what about her desires in the last moments of her death? She was not very erudite in the Shastras to take a Knowledge-based approach, nor the kind of being steeped in devotion as seen by any random observer. So, one is not very sure if she would be granted mokSha!
If I were asked what should be her desserts, I would say she is a right candidate for mokSha, and to this end any small failings should be overlooked. Even in mean human minds, there is the magnanimity of not granting a death sentence to the worst criminals. Going by these standards, grant of mokSha – the libration from the cycle of births and deaths- should be the only fitting gift to her life torn of cares, concerns, disappointments and ill-luck all through.
That alone would be my constant prayer! Another lifetime, unless that is one of great means and advantageous placements, will be too hard a burden to bear. It might break her faith in the ONE, even if, in the next life she were to go through this kind of life, and that would be the saddest thing! One might say, she might not be able to remember anything of this life. But the Atman remembers!
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