LIFE WITH MOM #3 [LAST DAY(S) - 3]

My sister and I reached home by 2200hrs on the 7th of May 2011. All along we were silent because we were being dropped by my colleague; we did not want to discuss the god man in their presence. Nor did I want to broach the subject of what transpired between them and the god man. First, neither I nor my sis was nosy. Secondly, we were too weighed down by the atmosphere at home. We just politely enquired if the visit was worth all the effort, to which they informed in the affirmative. By the time we spoke a few words, we were near home.
We entered home and moved into our rooms. I met mom talked to her for a few minutes and went off to bed, upstairs. I did so because Gita was there of take care of mom. My wife was all along cursing my having chosen to meet the god man, more so when I shared with her, some of this god man’s observations and comments. I pacified her not to bother and tried to steal some sleep.
I heard a knock on our room door urgently and my niece calling out desperately, around 0315hrs. I ran downstairs. My niece Shalini told me that my mom had asked for me to be called to her bed. I found my mother sitting wide eyed. My sis told me quickly that my mom hadn’t slept after 0000hrs. But she was speaking and requesting for her leg to be massaged.
My mom told me to call the doctor as she was feeling very uneasy. As she insisted on calling the doctor, though I wasn’t sure if the doctor would make it to our house in the dead of night, I did call him. There was an urgency to and importunate sense to her demand. I found that her breath was labored, so I felt may be she is low on glucose; she had not eaten anything that night; I quickly mixed some glucose in water and was trying to feed her a spoon or two, when I found that the water trickled down from her mouth, her gaze became fixed, and light had gone out of her eyes!
I exclaimed,[B] “Gita Amma is no more!”[/B]. My mother was leaning on my sis and facing me when all this happened. My sis immediately tried cardiac resuscitation by mouth-to-mouth, then pounding the chest etc., but to no avail. My mom had left her mortal coil. I checked the pulse. It had flattened. Mind blanked out, my sis Gita held mom cradled in her hands and was desperately calling her out. She felt mom responded. All of us were struck dumb. I looked at my watch it was 0345 hrs. The date was 8th May 2011!
By the time we picked up our senses, we heard the doctor’s knock on our front gate. I opened the gate. Dr.Chandrasekhar Adiga walked into the room where my mom was laid, and declared my mother dead for about 10 minutes, after he had finished applying medically certified checks. He said we had done what would have been done, by a trained medic - he was referring to the resuscitation efforts that we had done. The silent stalker had come in stealthily with hardly an indication – my mom was a diabetic, for whom the coming of a myocardial infarction would be undetectable. Her nervous system played truant. Well, that was the medical cause of death.
My mother had passed away in wee hours of the 8th of May 2011. It was, as per International convention, the Mother’s Day! So, memorably we had lost our mother on the Mother’s day. It was Mesha-Shukla-Panchami, the day Shankara Jayanti is celebrated in Shankar Mutts all over India.
Now is the time for me to once again indulge my passion – to delve into the manner of passing over to the other side of an individual evaluated against the Bhagavad- Gita Vakya. The time of My mother’s passing away was Uttarayana-Shukla Paksha-Panchami- brAhma-muhurta all pointing to an upward movement for the Atman_karmasharIra combine.
I checked up with my sis if my mom was remembering God’s name during the lucid interval. My sis said the previous few hours she was repeating the Lord’s name all through her laboring through the heart attack and the uneasy period before the coming of the actual attack. It gave me some satisfaction. But the last words on her lips were my name – the nickname [Raja] which could be considered- going by Vedic standards- very remotely as connected to Chandra. But then what was the image in her mind? That is a mystery. The day of passing was auspicious by all means. But was my Mother a mokshagAmI Atman? That is a mystery again. What were the last thoughts on her mind? Was she fixated on me or The Lord?
Taking into account the circumstances of her passing away -the timing- the day, the time of day, and the time of the year are all very excellent, and my mom’s moving into a higher yoni [B]is certain.[/B] But The Gita says, to be part of The Lord the exit must be as follows:
ओमित्येकाक्षरं ब्रह्म व्याहरन्मामनुस्मरन् ।
यःप्रयाति त्यजन्देहं स याति परमां गतिम् ॥8|13॥
This couplet gives what a person must do to make his exit from the mortal coil to result in a flight to the feet of the Lord. Lord Krishna says, “He who shall depart from this world repeating the single syllabic OM which is synonymous with God [Brahman], and remembering Me-Lord Krishna- the manifest Godhood, shall reach the Final Abode-that of Liberation and freedom from the shackles of births and deaths. This is the idea fundamental to Sanatana Dharma. This couplet makes it look very simple.
However for this to happen, the person must be conscious till the moment of the Grand Exit. If one is blessed to be so, then that is the first best thing. My mother was conscious till the last moment.
अग्निर्ज्योतिरहः शुक्लः षण्मासा उत्तरायणम् ।
तत्र प्रयाता गच्छन्ति ब्रह्म ब्रह्मविदो जना: ॥ 8|24॥
The couplet above details the time of passing. The first four wordsand the fifth a phrase: <1> agniH (fire), <2> jyotiH (Light),<3> ahaH (day time) <4> shuklaH(White-Fortnight), and <5>ShaNmAsA-uttarAyaNam (the six months of the Northward movement of the Sun (beginning Jan 15th to July 16th approximately of every year) indicate the brighter side of the time of departure.
The death must occur in the presence of the Sacred Fire <1>—in here, is the reference to the [I]tretagni[/I] – the three-fold fires of the householder; at a place that is well lit<2> in the daytime<3>; in fortnight of the waxing Moon<4> and in that part of the year when the Sun is on his Northward transit<5>. Those who leave their bodies [this is the standard idiom of Sanatana Dharma] they reach Brahman—provided, they have “known” Brahman, before the exit time.

Now, in this 24th couplet The Lord qualifies- the possible “entrants” to the State of Liberation! After stating the time of the day, period of the year, and the part of the month, the qualifying line calls for[B] knowledge of Brahman[/B] to be a pre-requisite. There are three preceding couplets to the 8-13. These describe the preparatory “work” needed to make the exit final. They are as follows:
प्रयाणकाले मनसाचलेन भक्त्या युक्तो योगबलेन चैव ।
भ्रुवोर्मध्ये प्राणमावेश्य सम्यक् स तं परं पुरुषमुपैति दिव्यम् ॥8|10॥
At the time departing from the body he who holds his pranic energy between his brows (concentrated at the Aj~nA chakra) with an unwavering mind, and connects to God either in devotion or with the power of yoga, and holds well, he attains the Great Lord!
सर्वद्वाराणि संयम्य मनो हृदि निरुध्य च ।
मूर्ध्न्याधायात्मनः प्राणमास्थितो योगधारणाम् ॥ 8|11॥
Holding all his exit points-these are supposed to be nine in the human body- called metaphorically the City of Nine Gates-in attention, holding his mind in the heart directing his life force towards the crown of the head if stays focussed at the contemplative stage of the eightfold yoga:Such a yogi who attains Liberation. It looks like a householder could qualify to be such a person.
These then, are the preconditions for a liberation-oriented “exit”. Taken together these steps i.e. 10, 11, and 13 are a tall order. It almost looks like it is all designed for a sanyasi – a renunciate. What would be the fate of the householders then?
This shall be delved into in detail in the subsequent blogs.